Legal Law

Online dating for seniors, what you haven’t heard

I don’t like the term “older people”, I prefer older. I mean, when you were young, you didn’t want to be around the older kids? But the world uses this as a way to describe old or old people. I can toggle between the two.

This is how my story begins. I was married for 35 years, widowed now for 5 years. Seeking a relationship was not my reason for trying an online dating service. There was other staff that didn’t matter what I experienced.

So I chose a recommended site, to test the waters, which was free. I was not going to pay and instantly they gave me 49 “let’s meet”. I had posted a real picture of what I look like now, an honest description and accurate answers. I mean, let’s be honest, we’re not going to say, “Overweight, wrinkled old hag is looking for a stud.” So skimming the truth isn’t horrible. But what I initially found were poorly written profiles almost to the point of trying to look like genuine horrible selfies (the ones in the bathroom the worst) on one side and then on the other side cleverly written profiles that were contrived. My favorite is that almost every guy is laid back plus an athlete (boating, skiing, or hiking pics). Yes, all men my age are virile. That’s why Viagra outsells aspirin. I have the need to skim the truth but “profile talk” with walks on the beach, sunsets and other buzzwords; It was making me nauseous. I changed my profile so many times that at one point I offered to write profiles for a fee. In fact, I made recommendations on the use of images. I mean missing teeth, ragged clothes, and shirtless photos are among my favorites. Yes, those will roll up in shades of females.

I contacted a real scammer who annoyed me but nothing really happened to me. I mention the FBI and panic ensues. I could understand scammers, but something just as dire happened. So I searched for online dating articles, tons of scammers, but nothing I finally found that we “oldies” need to know about. I was angry at the scammer, but wiser and more informed about what to look for, I got back into the fray and discovered what, to me, was so daunting.

Choosing to choose a site that was supposed to be for “seniors”, I browsed for free. The profiles looked legit and more realistic. I got the free smiles or winks to show interest, but couldn’t proceed unless I joined for communication access. So I took the cheapest $30 and moved on. I sent a few messages but got one line replies and then nothing. So I asked more detailed questions and got unrelated answers. I found this very strange, I mean is he just talking? Why didn’t boys my age respond? So maybe some want younger women, that makes sense, but the answers were haunting me. Something was wrong.

So I decided to do my own research, based on my instincts. I know from surveys and that 1 person represents 100 in likes, dislikes and opinions; so I became a researcher, not a seeker. I read most of the profiles, careful to choose the same types, as the service is analyzing my selections and preferences. I looked at the photos, profiles, likes, etc. They were all from my state and within 100 miles or less, with most around 20 miles. The general age group that appeared to sail was 58-68. I looked at each image in my browser about 75-100 guys.

I then selected about 35+ to message, commenting on current local events, their photos, etc. I commented to a guy who had a great photo. What photo do I have? The image I’m looking at is the one we’re sending messages with. Oh that photo. Oh, it was in Atlantic City, I actually replied, “I was from Jersey.” Silence. This happened several times. So I told a guy, 70 years old, that I wasn’t sure if his profile was him, hacked or inactive. I figured selecting a guy older than me would generate interest, like wanting a younger woman. What I got was language that was not in the vein of a 70-year-old man. The dialogue turned belligerent when I asked him to confirm if he was represented. No real person would feel unpleasant for asking a simple question, especially an older man to a woman. I don’t want to detail any other telltale signs as this might help this continue, but I knew early on that I was communicating with a much younger person.

So here is my assessment. Out of the 35+ guys I messaged, I received 1 communication back and forth. Let’s analyze this. Of these guys, let’s say 10 wanted a younger woman. Let’s say 8 didn’t like my looks. Maybe 10 weren’t online but I messaged they should have received notifications but maybe they didn’t like me either. That still leaves 7. But let’s face it about these guys, whatever I look like, at least 2 guys just want to get laid. Is that a reality or there had to be some really lonely guys. Anyway no communication?

What was going on was so obvious that I was surprised it had never been written before. I really think none of these guys were “active” members. I mean, a guy’s profile said that he was actually 67, not 61, but the age next to the picture of him was 63, and 4 hours later, the same guy was 58, what a clever trick!

I can bet that my own little poll, if conducted on a broader basis, would prove me right. My conclusion is that all these services are aimed at the 18-45 age group. Older adults would tend to want to stay for a while and then get off, the age group in this group would be very low so to keep getting new subscribers they have to recycle inactive members. I think I communicated with a young person or with a robot designed to respond in a certain way. These are unethical business practices. The service claims hundreds or thousands of new members daily, which may be true with younger people but not older.

These services care less because if they have an average of 100 people a week buying 1 month that $3000 buckeroos for a week. It is a scam in another sense. Maybe they’re not scamming someone into cleaning out their bank accounts, but they’re dealing with a bait-and-switch business practice that fools people; no accurate representation of who is active. Their disclaimer clears them of any scams etc. They offer advice to identify false profiles but at the same time liars. Your photos are now your property. Why would they need them? If not use them this way.

Now, one can state that this is not a guarantee, absolutely correct. But the real fraud is hurting older people who already enter with more insecurities and fears. As long as you’re on the lookout for scammers, no one would think there aren’t 100 guys to navigate but 10. Come on. I can take rejection, but make it from real people, not phantom members or chattering robots. My author image is the same one I used.

I complained and asked for a refund. I got half, of which, at this writing has not happened. If I don’t get it. I will discuss the charge. Older people would not consider this aspect. They forget it and think they were rejected or are embarrassed to even say they entered a site.

I checked several other age related sites and they all work the same way. There has to be a better method and I’m going to find out.

Then older! oldies! Boomers! Don’t buy nonsense. Give it a try, like I did, then if you get similar results, ask for a refund. They put us in the pocket, they return the favor.

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