More than any other knight at King Arthur’s round table, Sir Gawain epitomized romance and chivalry. The story of Sir Gawain and the disgusting lady is surprisingly modern in its wisdom and is worth retelling here:
Once upon a time, a long, long time ago, King Arthur was riding with Sir Gawain when they came to the rescue of a damsel in distress. To free the lady, King Arthur fought a black knight with supernatural powers. And he lost. He was no match for the knight’s black magic. The black knight spared Arthur’s life only at the behest of the witch he served. The witch made a deal with Arthur: “Answer this question or lose your life in a year. What do women want most?”
What do women want most? Sir Gawain and Arthur were puzzled by the question as they made their way back to Camelot. Arthur and Gawain questioned the ladies of the court, their maidens, the women of the neighboring villages, the country, and all the wisest people they could muster. They all had a different answer: money. Love. Energy. Beauty. wealth. Youth. Castles. Service. Kids. great sex Thin thighs. Pierce Brosnan.
The year passed without Arthur coming any closer to the answer to the riddle. And so it was with a heavy heart that Arthur and Gawain returned to meet their deaths in the black knight’s castle, a year after the riddle was posed. Along their journey, a repulsive old hag got in their way and wouldn’t let them pass. This disgusting lady was the most disgusting creature they had ever seen: she farted and belched; she had a face dotted with furry moles, broken brown teeth, watery bloodshot eyes, matted greasy hair that had never been washed, and she had a short, twisted body with lumps and bumps in alarming places. She sucked.
“I have the answer you seek,” she raised.
“Who are you?” Gawain asked, “What answer?”
“What women want. I am Ragnell, and I will save the king’s life for a price.”
“If your answer is true, you can have whatever you want,” Arthur promised.
“Women want sovereignty over themselves. They want to make their own decisions,” Ragnell snorted. “And my price is to marry a knight of your court!”
Arthur disgusted by this trick. Marry one of his men to this horrible thing! But he was caught up in the promise of it.
“I will marry you,” said Gawain. “If Arthur lives, you will be my bride.”
Of course Arthur lived. The answer was true. Gawain, true to her word, married filthy Ragnell. The bridal party watched in horror as the bride belched, scratched, drooled, and laughed throughout the wedding feast. She told bawdy stories that would make a lecher blush. They all pitied poor Gawain.
Poor gallant Gawain climbed the steps of his bridal chamber to consummate the marriage from hell. He shuddered as he contemplated touching, much less copulating, with this monstrous woman. And there she was, leering at him as she entered the room. “Hug me, husband!”
And Gawain, always true to his word, took the bride in his arms. He discovered that he was holding a gloriously beautiful young woman. She had silky hair and a creamy complexion. Her body was lithe and her eyes sparkled with adoration.
“Who are you?” Gawain asked as he looked around the room for his wife.
“I am your wife,” she smiled. “I was cursed to be as you knew me until I could win a true knight in marriage. You can have me as I am by day or by night, but I must return to my witch form at those other times. Do you prefer as I am at night, when I am in your arms? Or do you choose me to be beautiful by day, when seen by your friends?
Gawain thought for a long time. He finally answered: “This is your life.” This should be your choice. It’s up to you.”
And at that moment the spell was broken. His gift of choice granted her complete freedom from the curse and the return of his natural beauty.
Lady Ragnell is, of course, the goddess herself. Gawain yields to her goddess three times in this story: he volunteers to marry her as an old woman, accepts her terrifying embrace as her wife, and agrees to her decision as a maiden.
The goddess shows her old face in our lives as those ugly or terrifying events that we want to reject. Crises of wealth, health, happiness, and home are how we experience the gifts of the old lady.
How do you answer the call of the witch?
You can hide and let her chase you. Or you can surrender to her embrace and discover the opportunity she has disguised. The gift can take a long time to reveal itself. Ragnell tested Gawain several times before revealing his bounty.
At the heart of each challenge is that loving choice your soul made, when you knew your oneness with the divine, to play this game of life and acknowledge the Lady in all aspects.
