As a coach, one of the most typical causes of the problems my clients face is the all too common human desire to be perfect or to perform perfectly. Failing to fulfill this desire to be perfect and doing so will be an obstacle for both the client and the coach. It is better to focus on striving to do and be excellent in our performance. There is more than a semantic difference between the words perfect and excellent. There is also a strongly experienced difference that can force higher performance or stop it altogether.
When perfection is sought, there is no room for error. The result is black or white. The performance, project, result or objective was delivered according to the specification or it was not. Often times, nothing can (or does) happen in terms of performance until perfection has been achieved. Continual refinement accompanied by continual judgment becomes the order of the day. Interestingly, none of the traditional measures of perfection typically include “does it work or not” as a top-level question?
Functionally speaking, excellence refers to feasibility. Something is great when it works or when it works in a way that creates a minimum of unwanted consequences and achieves a large measure of the desired results. In this sense, it is elegant. It’s not perfect, but it works great.
The advantage of focusing on excellence rather than perfection is that by doing so, the action keeps moving forward. What we are essentially doing as a coach is working to create an environment that enables the client to live by their outcome rather than living up to an arbitrary standard of what that outcome should be and how it should be achieved. This distinction is energetically one of literally moving forward (living in) versus standing still (living up to).
As a coach, it is helpful to be familiar with some of the qualitative differences that separate these two approaches to performance. Unsurprisingly, perfection has extremely strong dynamics associated with it. Some are so strong that they can literally throw the focus off performance. Among them, the main ones are the following:
• Focus on protecting a valuable self-image where there is no room for error
• A pervasive lifestyle state of mind in which the client operates out of fear (ie, not being good enough, falling short, being “discovered”, etc.)
• Significant risks are largely avoided or calculated
• Obsession with the need to control and be “right”
• Critical judgment of self and others against an arbitrary standard.
• Shortage of options … do it according to “the book”
• Focus on protecting what I already have: playing to not lose versus playing to win
• Focus on mechanism vs. creativity
• Mainly concerned with “looking good” … a “me” approach
• Narrowing of focus that allows seeing only the chosen path to the result to the exclusion of other possibilities.
• Classic win / lose approach to relationships
As you can probably imagine, over time, a focus on being (or doing) perfect also creates telltale characteristics in and with the individual’s “body.” We will explore the notion of “body” much more fully later in the book. Suffice it to say at this point that I use the term “body” to include not only the physical bodies, but also the energetic, emotional, mental and spiritual that we inhabit. Within this “body” context, a focus on perfection establishes a state in which the individual and those around him will almost always experience constriction, rigidity, narrow focus, and a general state of mind of judgment. This is not an insignificant consequence. Given that an aspect of leadership that we attend as a coach is the quality of the movement that our client generates in himself and in his followers, this movement is strongly influenced by the leader’s “body”.
As an alternative, a focus on excellence can be considered to have the following basic attributes:
• Willingness (even the desire) to learn from mistakes. From this perspective, what are generally called errors are seen as unavoidable, even desired, information-gathering opportunities. (I remember the comment of Soichiro Honda, founder of Honda Motor Company, when asked about the secret of his success: “I made as many mistakes as I could as fast as I could”)
• Action based on emotion, energy, fun, enthusiasm
• Willingness to take challenging risks
• Operate in life from clarity of purpose and empowerment
• Operate easily from acceptance and appreciation of differences.
• Search for feedback and diversity of contributions.
• Use creativity and recognize the abundance of options.
• Double focus on both the journey and the results
• Concern for the common good … an inclusive focus on the “we”
• Establish results based on win / win
Like the dominant focus on perfection, having the dominant focus on being (or doing) great will also create a hallmark in and with the individual’s “body.” These will generally manifest as a relaxed and open mind and body. Accessible and curious are words that are often used to describe someone with this orientation. The shoulders will tend to be relaxed, the eyes will tend to be softer, and internally the voice of criticism will muffle. Not surprisingly, this “body” impacts the outside world in a way that is likely to foster a quality of movement among a leader’s followers that is materially different from that of the perfectionist leader.
Having said all of the above, I want to be sure to point out that I am not talking here about abandoning standards or abandoning a commitment to continual improvement. One can have extremely high standards and still come from a position of excellence. In this case, the difference between the two perspectives is the answer to the question “why?” Do these standards exist? With a focus rooted in excellence, the answer to the question will be tied to the desired outcome that the standards make possible. With an approach rooted in perfection, the answer to the question will tend to be because the standard itself is important, often just as important as the actual result. Again, it is really a question of what makes it possible to achieve the standard.
To use a sports example to illustrate this difference, you don’t need to look beyond the efforts of golf champion Tiger Woods to continually hone and improve his swing. To some, it may seem like you are being a perfectionist. However, within the framework of excellence versus perfection, my position is that Tiger is operating from a position of excellence. It is not still; Your efforts to improve are aimed at being the best golfer to ever play the game; You are not concerned about appearing less than others when you are in the middle of the rebuilding process – you are learning. It is a generative and productive process for him.
This opens up a central question for the coach and client as to which of the two approaches is likely to be more generative. My position is that anything the coach can do to foster an excellence-based approach in the coaching process, in their clients’ process of moving toward their results, and in life in general, will ultimately produce results that are much more. sustainable and welcome because striving for excellence is more generative than the search for perfection.
In fact, training the client to move from an approach that tends to perfection can be (and generally is) a wonderful training opportunity in itself. Being able to draw the client’s attention to the differences between the two approaches opens the door to much richer conversations and much more sustainable results than would otherwise be possible.
(c) 2010 by Blaine Bartlett
All rights reserved
Note: This article is excerpted from the Introduction to the book Three-Dimensional Coaching by Blaine Bartlett. The book will be published in late 2010.
