I think I can have conversations with God. In my dreams, hear my prayers. Your sweet words, answer my questions.
I asked God why He allowed terrible things like natural disasters to kill so many innocent people. He answered me as follows.
“Because you don’t understand, I forgive you.”
I don’t understand dear God, please forgive me.
God replied, “I know you don’t understand. I see your fears. I know your prayers. I am always with you, but why do you doubt me?”
I doubt you because I don’t understand you. When will I start to see the light?
God smiled. A flash of blazing glory crossed the horizon and he said, “Have good faith. You must believe, then you will begin to understand.”
It’s hard for me to believe what I can’t see or understand, dear God.
God said, “If you have enough faith, you will learn to understand. And if you have enough faith, you will recognize my glory that is within you.”
With this last pronouncement a warm glow of pure joy seemed to fill every fiber of my being and I said, “Thank you dear God.”
And God said, “Do not fear because I am always with you. I have given you the ability to think independently. Use this gift wisely.
Thank you God, but how can I use your gift wisely if I don’t understand it?
God replied, “If you have enough faith, you will begin to understand. If you have enough faith, anything is possible. Why do you ask me?”
I have so many questions dear God. When will I begin to know the answers?
“When you’re ready, when you’ve evolved into the thinking human being that I wanted you to be,” God responded.
I feel like I’ve been willing to believe in you all my life, dear God.
God said, “Where is your faith? Why do you ask me who created you?
I don’t have the answer, dear God; all I have is more questions.
God said, “If you still ask me, then you don’t have enough faith in yourself. Because I have made you in my image.”
At this point it felt like the whole world was shaking and shaking. I asked God if he was mad at me.
God said, I’m not angry, I share your pain, I share your dreams, I know your frustrations, why do you still question me?
Dear God, I don’t know why I’m so insecure. I just know that I want with all my heart to believe in you.
God chuckled and the entire night sky seemed to light up with his joy. He said, “You will, because I believe that you are evolving into a good and worthwhile person.”
I told God that it was hard for me to believe that God had faith in me considering all the weaknesses of spirit that I suffered.
God said, “You have the right to be a person of faith because I created you in my own image, just as all these seemingly random acts of nature are part of my grand design for the evolution of your world in the interest of the common good.” Don’t question my intention.
With this, a feeling of pure happiness washed over me. I felt a sense of satisfaction and peace of mind that I had never known before. All I could do was mutter, “Thank you, dear God.”
God surrounded me and said, “Why has it taken you so long to find my grace? Why have you had to struggle with yourself to become a Person of Faith?”
I guess even God has questions when it comes to dealing with his own creation.
God must have heard me because He said, “It is all part of my grand design. As you begin to evolve into the thinking human being that I created you for, you will begin to understand. Tell all your friends who question their faith that everyone they are part of my creation.
I didn’t want to tell God that I still didn’t understand why bad things happen to innocent people, so I decided to take his pronouncement as correct as a matter of faith. He must have listened to my thoughts because he said:
“Now that you’re starting to get the message, spread the word.”
*****
© Copyright Arthur Levine 2006
