The pursuit of happiness is universal. It has been sought after since the beginning of time and continues to be a subject of much study and persecution. What is happiness really? Why is it so elusive? Is there any proven method to achieve this?
Happiness is a concept that differs between cultures and individuals. Many people cannot easily define it in terms of a state of being. Normally we think of moments of happiness, laughter, good times with good people, events, etc. When I refer to lasting happiness, I mean the happiness of life; a general feeling that life is good; experiencing pleasure and satisfaction. This would include a real sense of well-being and a positive outlook. In addition, the commitment and enjoyment of daily life. It is not just dizziness or moments of joy or enjoyment, although that is part of it. I think that hand in hand with this way of being is deep satisfaction. The kind of satisfaction that lingers and is related to a sense of purpose and meaning, that life is valuable, rich, and fulfilling.
Happiness is elusive for a couple of reasons: First, as I mentioned, for many it’s hard to define. Obviously, it is almost impossible to achieve something when you are not clear about what you want. Second, we have a propensity as human beings to search for things that won’t provide what we’re actually looking for. So even if we do achieve “that”, all too often we are disappointed. This leads to a vicious cycle for many, constantly chasing after something to “make” them happy. This is where most people end up, in unfulfilling cycles of search and disappointment or periods of happiness that just don’t last. This is largely perpetuated by social and commercial messages centered on the happiness that comes from this, having that, or achieving such-and-such. It’s hard not to believe that “it” is somewhere just out of our reach.
Before I share the top 8 solid tips to increase your happiness level, I ask you to contemplate and examine your thoughts and define happiness as a larger general concept. Consider again that happiness really does come from within. It sounds cliché, but the fact is that we will find our own sense of true happiness within ourselves and fully experience it when we connect with what is unique and great within us and fully share and express it in the world. Living fully and authentically from the inside out is a sure path to lasting happiness and deep fulfillment.
Also, be open to challenging your way of thinking and changing your attitudes. Are some of your habits of thought and behavior thwarting your chances of feeling good about yourself and your world? Attitude adjustments and new thought patterns are often needed to make room for happiness. It really is a choice to be happy. Consciously deciding how you will see things as well as being willing to incorporate habits and accommodate activities that are rewarding. Sometimes we inadvertently choose to stay on familiar territory, even if it’s not happy, rather than make some changes.
Please note: For those with clinical depression or mental illness which adds a complex element. However, these ideas will work effectively when practiced and combined with professional intervention as needed.
The following list has tried and true methods that I have compiled from many studies, as well as my personal and professional experience. Select a few to implement and commit to incorporating them for at least a couple of weeks. I strongly suggest a journal for your exploration and thoughts if you are not currently using one and to keep track of how you are feeling. Some ideas can have an instant impact, others are habits or practices that increase overall levels over time.
I am confident that by using several ideas from this list along with honest self-exploration and attitude changes, you will achieve a higher level of real, lasting happiness and deep satisfaction in your life.
True lasting happiness is not just something to be had, it is a state of being and a lifestyle.
The eight main keys to achieving happiness:
1. Know what you want in life and go after it.
Be very clear about what is meaningful and important to you and go for it. Reconnect with your hopes and dreams. Do you want to travel, grow prize-winning roses, change careers, write a book, learn salsa dancing? Whatever it is for you, have a vision, make a plan and take action.
2. Develop an Attitude of Gratitude.
It is impossible to be unhappy at the same time as being truly thankful and thankful for life. In studies conducted by Sonja Lyubomirsky Ph.D., it was found that it is most effective to write what you are grateful for once a week. Pick a time to spend a few minutes on this exercise and develop a routine. Also, say thank you more often when you feel it. Being grateful to another person spreads the good feeling around.
3. Practice acts of kindness.
Science has shown that acts of kindness not only positively affect the recipient, but also the recipient and even the bystanders who witness the act. That’s one high-powered happy activity! In fact, acts of kindness physically increase feel-good hormones in the brain, such as serotonin, to a measurable degree. Try it; be nice, offer to help, do favors, surprise someone you know or a complete stranger. Instant satisfaction can be found in this one.
4. Get moving
Implement an exercise plan or find ways to increase your physical activity on a routine basis. Multiple studies show that regular vigorous exercise can be as effective as antidepressants for some people. Join a gym, running or cycling club. Dancing, brisk walks. The key is to be quite intensive; get your blood going and be consistent, shoot for 45 minutes three times a week minimum.
5. Stop worrying and complaining
Okay, so this is a big problem for some of us. These two are habits and patterns that can take over our thoughts and conversations. But clearly this is an area where we all need to focus on changing to allow happiness into our lives. Recording complaints as you file them will increase your awareness. To start, keep a log handy for a week, you’ll be surprised how often and why you complain. If worry or anxiety takes up a large part of your day, schedule time, say 30 minutes a day to reflect and then save it, limit the time you allow for that. Practice living in the present moment.
6. Nourish yourself
Make taking care of yourself a priority. We all need time to recharge and reconnect. However, it is often placed last on the to-do list. In reality, your body is the vehicle of your being or soul, you wouldn’t expect to drive any other vehicle without regular fueling, maintenance, and maybe a good wash and wax once in a while, right? Take care. Rest, relax, reflect. Make time for hobbies and activities you enjoy; anything that brings you peace, joy, or pleasure on a regular basis. Make it part of your routine and lifestyle, put it on your agenda!
7. Live within your strengths and values.
Using your unique strengths makes life easier and more fulfilling. Do you know yours? What are you really good at? A great way to tell is to reflect on times when you felt better and identify in detail what you were doing. Use this more! Likewise, know what you value: family, honesty, health, adventure, security, etc. Living in integrity with these will automatically feel better than compromising your values.
8. Nurture relationships
We are social beings. Connect with others on a regular basis. Invest time and affection in our personal relationships, get to know people well and share fully with others. For most of us there is simply nothing more rewarding than our deep friendships and intimate relationships. Make them a priority, don’t take anyone for granted.
