One of the most important things about success is that it affects every aspect of your life. Your level of success determines the way you speak, the house you live in, the places you go, the way you dress, the things you eat, etc. Your relationship with others is also affected or determined by your level of success. Birds of a feather flock together. People are expected to identify with those who have the same level of success as they do in friendly relationships. That is why friendship is always better between people of the same level.
There can be no strong or cordial friendship between unequals, regardless of the criteria by which inequality is judged. Even the interactions between blood relatives are negatively affected by differences in their achievement levels. Also, among young men and women, one’s level of success is an important factor in selecting a potential spouse. A successful person, other things being equal, naturally desires a successful (or at least potentially successful) partner as a spouse. This is the reason why educated people generally marry other educated people.
Some attendees of my seminars have questioned the claim that there can be no strong or cordial friendship between unequals. It has also been questioned by some people during informal discussions. However, I continue to hold this point of view due to some observations and practical experiences. For example, no matter the level of relationship between a billionaire and a poor person, the former cannot reveal the amount of money he earns in business to the latter for various reasons, as it may put the relationship at risk.
For example, doing so can make the poor person jealous. Furthermore, such information may induce the poor person to make irrational financial demands on his wealthy friend or relative. The relationship may eventually break down if the request is not granted for some reason. This is one of the reasons the rich keep information about their financial success away from the poor, regardless of how close they are to them. I sincerely believe that this observation validates the truth that there can be no intimacy between unequals.
In addition, communication is usually more effective between people with the same standard of living and success, since their experiences are (most likely) similar. For example, the discussion about marital life between a married man and a single, a married woman and an spinster, or a married person and a divorced person will be from different perspectives. This also applies to the discussion between rich and poor, a landlord and a tenant, a man and a woman, an adult and a child, an employer and an employee, a worker and a retiree, etc.
The place of success in human relationships should not be difficult to understand because people’s lives are under the irresistible influence of their relationships; hence the popular expression, “Tell me your friend and I will tell you what kind of person you are.” Associating with people above you has a tendency to help you grow taller in life, if you are willing to. Similarly, engaging with people below you has a tendency to drag you down, if you’re not careful. That is why you must take your relationships into account.
Your life is influenced by the relationships you have. Your relationships are among the factors that will determine whether you will succeed or fail in life. That is why there is generally a correlation between people’s level of success and their relationships with people. In fact, your companions determine who you are and what accompanies you. You shouldn’t expect to have a focus in life if your closest friends are people who don’t have a focus. Your choice of friendship influences or determines your destiny in life.
