If you’re not familiar with my movie reviews, here’s how it works: I go see the latest movie everyone’s talking about, drink a staggering amount of diet soda, and then report back, looking for so many things to do. fun as this space allows, while trying to strike a balance with the positive highlights. Welcome. Let us begin.
THE GOOD: What we have here is an attempt to take the most suave and somewhat pathetic princess ever, and give her a backbone. This is not the fairytale version of your childhood, with whistling dwarfs and a helpless girl in a dress, running with his hand over her mouth, always surprised. It’s a much darker and creepier scene unfolding, which frankly adds to the appeal in my opinion.
Motherless as a toddler, Snow White (played by Kristin Stewart) has to adjust to life with her stepmother Raveena (Charlize Theron), who is the epitome of the word “self-absorbed.” When it becomes clear that mommy darling has nothing good in store for her, Snow White escapes into the woods where she encounters all sorts of creepy things caused by hallucinogenic spores, and where she also first meets the Huntsman (Chris Hemsworth), who is something of a like a pleasant hallucination. Sent to kill her, the Huntsman is faced with the choice of serving the evil Queen or helping Snow White escape from her. And as the bad boy that he is, you can imagine what he chooses to do.
There were a lot of positives about this movie for me: the visual effects were amazing and Charlize Theron is as scary as the Queen I found myself considering ways to make myself less attractive so as not to risk running into her soul. sucking vanity. I even have to admit that Kristin Stewart, who I’m not particularly impressed with as an actress, was perfect for the part, not only because she required very little facial expression, but because THIS Snow White isn’t exactly “girly.” “—and let’s face it, Ms. Stewart has never been known for acting like a lady. And to round things off, Chris Hemsworth with a Scottish accent is the stuff dreams are made of. Thank you.
THE BAD: I mentioned earlier that there were no whistling dwarves in this version, but you can be sure the dwarves ARE present and depicted—-they’re just not particularly cute, snuggly critters. I didn’t mind the fact that they all looked a little rough around the edges, but I found myself completely unable to understand what they were saying from time to time. I’m still not sure if it was the British accents or if they were all, in fact, a bunch of gossip.
THE UGLY: There was certainly no shortage of gross things to see in this movie: stabbings, internal organ removal, and the queen eating the still-warm heart of a dead animal, to name a few. Still, when you’re faced with the obvious possibility that the Queen and her weird brother of hers appear to be in some sort of incest, everything else pales in comparison. I don’t have a brother, but if I did, I’d like to think that he wouldn’t feel the need to watch me take a bath, nor would I feel inclined to chat with him while I’m walking into a bathroom. giant puddle of milk But this is how I move.
Simply put, if you like fairy tales on the darker side, with the fair maiden less “helpless” and more “messy”, then this is the version for you.
The Trophy Wife gives this movie 4 trophies.
Snow White and the Huntsman is 127 minutes long and is rated PG-13 for intense sequences of violence and action, and brief sensuality. (No F-words used)
