Many parents have great concern when their autistic child reaches the ripe old age of sexual maturity. Ah, what to do? Should we put our daughter on contraception? Should we try to explain sexuality to our son who cannot sit still or offer his attention for more than a minute? It is a dilemma and every child faces this moment in his life.
The first question many people ask is, “Do autistic people have sex?” It’s like asking if it will be dark outside tonight. Of course, the answer is “yes”. It may not be the answer you want to hear, but it is the truthful answer that you need to face with your child.
Another question you may have is, “Should I talk about sex with my son?” This answer has a lot to do with your child’s skill level. If your child has Asperger syndrome, the definitive answer is “yes.” If your child does not have the ability to tie his shoes or feed himself, you need to determine if your child will get anything out of this conversation.
Other parents ask if their young adult will become sexually active. This, like so many things regarding autism, is an interesting and difficult question. First, it is not uncommon for both boys and girls to masturbate. Sometimes, depending on where the person appears on the spectrum, masturbation can occur in places that can be embarrassing. During my years of teaching the autistic population, this happened occasionally in the classroom. We discussed the situation with the school psychologist and her recommendation was to remove the child from the classroom and into the bathroom for privacy. This, I know, is not the solution that everyone would agree on. For this reason, in my opinion, each teacher and each parent should come up with their own satisfactory solution. Apart from masturbation, sexual intercourse with another person is quite possible. Again, it depends on your child’s skill level.
It is interesting to note that many more autistic adults are asexual compared to the rest of the population. There is also believed to be a higher percentage of autistic gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people compared to the general population. Part of the reason for this is that there is not such a strong need for compliance. Another interesting fact is that many more autistic homosexuals are celibate. This is by choice.
Some parents wonder if their child will ever date, find a mate, and possibly get married. Naturally, this scenario is much lower than in the rest of the population. There are couples who get married. However, these are generally high-functioning autistics. Some of the reasons that an autistic person might not be involved in a relationship is the simple fact that it can be very difficult for a person with a social disability to find a partner. Often times, apart from the norm, it is not uncommon for the female to brand the male. However, the man, due to his inexperience, may not react properly simply because he does not know how.
Part 2 will delve a little deeper into sexuality and the autistic young adult.
Until next time, have a great day and remember to take good care of yourself!
