Get off the treadmill – Get out of your rat race!
We can all get into a routine from time to time. Who hasn’t had a moment in their life when they asked themselves the question: “Why am I doing this?” Whether it’s who you’ve become, the business you’re in, your career, your relationships, where you live, or all of the above, sometimes you realize you’re not where you want to be and you’re not sure how we got there! It sure does feel like your own version of a rat race though.
If where you want to be in your life isn’t where you are, then maybe it’s time you gave up your own rat race. We are conditioned to believe that we must continue to push ourselves, take on more, and do more, in order to be “successful.” But this is a narrow definition and ultimately self-defeating. If we can only be more successful by what we do and how much we do, then we have created our own treadmills for running.
1. Redefine success
Redefining success for yourself can be the first step to adopting a new perspective. Try this exercise by completing the following award. “I know I’m successful when……” You can’t complete the award with anything to do with work or material goods.
Here are some examples. I know I’m successful when…
…I laugh every day with my children
…I jump out of bed excitedly every morning
…all my relationships give me a lot of joy
…I inspire others to make positive changes
By redefining what we think makes us successful, we begin to strive for different things in our lives. This can be critical to slowing down the treadmill enough for us to take stock of where we are.
2. Clear your mind
If you feel like you don’t have time for anything, especially thinking of ways to do things differently, it’s time for a break. When we are busy and busy all the time, we usually react to things going on around us, rather than acting out of our own choice. So make an active decision to take a break, a vacation, talk to someone you trust, vent, do whatever it takes to gain perspective on your situation. This simple step alone will make you feel more in control and can help you streamline the energy you’ll need for the changes ahead. The idea is not simply to get out of the rat race, but to move towards a more fulfilling way of life.
3. Be real
The reality is that you can’t change anyone’s behavior but your own. So now is a good time to stop wishing people would act differently so you can feel better. Also, it’s time to make backup plans in case you don’t win the lottery or get a raise. This sounds harsh, but people who wait for things to happen to them often wait a long time. Don’t wait for luck or fate to intervene. Estimate how much it will cost you (in time, energy, money, etc.) to make the changes you know you need to make. Then calculate what it will cost you not to.
4. Light package
There’s something very cathartic about taking the time to clean things up, getting rid of the old to make way for the new. You might start with a room in your house, your email address list, or old beliefs that no longer add value to you. In every situation there is a good lesson to take with you, something valuable to keep. Even if it’s just, ‘Well, that’s one place I know I never want to be again’; there is something worth keeping.
Any situation, and your perception of it, is part of who you are. Identify specifically what you want to keep and what you will leave behind. Be brutal. You may even lose some of the things you choose to leave behind; all of that is part of the process. What you will find is renewed energy for the new things you want to include in your life – a great start to getting out of your rat race and starting a new journey.
5. Create a map
When was the last time you thought about where you wanted to be in 5 or 10 years? We get so caught up in “doing” things – for business, for work, for others – things that we think we should be doing, that we don’t take the time to consider what we really want. Forget about the race. Think of a trip.
Take time to think about yourself and where you would like to be. No one else’s map will work here; it’s time to think a little for yourself. What are the core values you would like to base your life on? What do you like to do or be? What gives you a sense of purpose? What do you represent? What could you not be dissuaded from believing, no matter what? If you had one life to live this time, what would you do with it?
These are tough questions, and your answers are part of the journey. Don’t panic or feel guilty if you don’t know the answers right away. For the impatient and perfectionist people reading, this is not a test, there is no pass or fail. So don’t treat it as such. The more you know about yourself, the more you can start drawing your own map.
6. Head for life! (not lifestyle)
Do you know the difference between having a life and maintaining a lifestyle? A lifestyle is something that society, advertisers, and parents tell us we need. The luxuries of life, while nice to have, can be costly financially and in the energy expended to achieve them. Perhaps the energy expended in maintaining a lifestyle could be better used to make your life an expression of who you are. A lifestyle buy comfort. A life buy satisfaction and contentment. The best bed in the world is only a comfortable sleepless night if you lack satisfaction. If your lifestyle prevents you from being who you are, then throw it out.
7. Go for your ideal
If it turns out that you quit your rat race and enter your perfect life, would you know? Create a vision of where it would be, who you are with, what you are doing. Design it around your passions, beliefs, values and loves. Remember, just like spending your money, if you don’t know what you want out of life, there are plenty of people around you who will be happy to tell you.
8. Be careful with the rough parts.
Choosing to live your life your way is harder than staying in your rat race. The people you meet can be sympathetic or incredulous and will not hesitate to give you their opinion. Temptations will abound to take a few lapses around the old racecourse when the going gets tough. Our old comfort zones are traps waiting to lure us back into our old ways. By being aware of this and planning how you will deal with it, you will get through it. Anything different can be scary. But it can also be fun!
9. Enjoy the ride!
You have recognized where you no longer want to be and identified where you want to be. Now live where you are. Learn from the past and move on. Plan for the future but live in the present. You can’t do anything with yesterday, so stop worrying about it. If you spend every minute thinking about tomorrow then you will never enjoy today. And that’s where all the action is!
10. Cheer up.
No more excuses. Nothing more to say. Do it.
Sometimes the only way to “win” a race, where there can be no winner, is to simply stop racing.
