As I was sitting at my computer this morning, having coffee and checking my emails, I received one from Barbara, a dear friend of mine. We grew up together in Missouri and have known each other since high school. She was the most beautiful and nice girl you would ever want to meet.
She was raised in a very strict Catholic home. She wasn’t even allowed to date! I remember her telling me that she wanted to go to prom something horrible, but that she was so afraid to approach her father with that question. Since I was her best friend, I helped her get over it and she told her father that there was a very nice boy named Lee who was in her class all the years at school and had asked him to come to school. prom with her. He had already enlisted in the Air Force (her father, who was retired from the army, really thought he was a brilliant person for doing so and had a great future ahead of him), and he actually let her go to the prom! graduation! However, never let her go on another date after her.
So… it turns out that Lee got orders for Alaska! Barbara told her father the bad news about her and told her that her graduation was coming up and that she really didn’t want to see Lee ever again…she really liked her. In fact, Lee asked Barbara to meet him in Alaska and marry him, so that she could start dating other men or marry him. What a dilemma for a very strict father. He was only as strict as he was because he loved her immensely and wanted him to be happy, so he arranged for her the most beautiful wedding she had ever dreamed of. I was there! It was really nice, he not only had a priest marry them, but three at the altar! Wow.
Well, now, once they lived together it turned out… they couldn’t live together. She told me that they had so many arguments. He was lazy, he left his clothes everywhere, he never hung them, etc., etc., etc. Then when they were together almost 3 years he became very abusive. Speaking specifically, I remember with her one last Thanksgiving. They had gone to a friend’s house for dinner on base and she had forgotten something, so she had to run back down the next street to look for it. He followed her shortly after she left her, yelled at her for being such a fool (he was extremely verbally and emotionally abusive) for forgetting him, grabbed her beautiful long hair from behind her and threw her to the ground.
Every time she tried to run for a phone to call for help, he ripped it off the wall and tossed it across the room. Every time she ran to the door, he would grab her hair and pull her back. She even tried to run to her base just to get away from him and let her cool off, and he pushed her down the stairs. However, after she calmed down, she was always very regretful. He always bought her flowers and jewelry and cried for her. Then, as time went on, she got to the point where she didn’t care anymore. To others, he was a very nice guy, the perfect angel, but not behind closed doors. I told him that he had to escape. Life is too short for someone to live like that, and we both feared for his life. I sent her a pepper spray lipstick for Christmas that year. She never knew what it was because she had taken it out of the package and made a nice little basket for it with other cosmetics. The next day, he had threatened to kill her. She sprayed it on her face with the spray lipstick and was able to escape her in the heat of the moment…finally!
I’m telling you this story because it’s National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. This is happening all around us. You may not be aware that your neighbors or co-workers, or even friends, may be going through a similar situation. The holidays are coming up soon. I wanted to share my life changing story with you. I truly believe that Barbara would not have been so lucky if I had not done something to help her. I believe so strongly in these great self defense products that I wanted to help more than just Barbara. I want to raise awareness and make the world a safer place.
Yours in safety,
Regina Jacques
