You’re working, doing what you do, and then, either suddenly or with subtle nudges, thoughts of retirement creep into your mind. Friends start asking him when he’s going to retire, and at first he may be a little resentful. Do you want to say something with that question? But you think about it. You have seen others retire, you have seen them walk happily away from the world of work. So what if you find out later that they had “some trouble” adjusting to retirement? The thought of retiring still calls to us, like the sirens of mythology, making us wish we were done with schedules, hassles, and hard-soled shoes.
It’s a tough decision, but these questions can help you think about it. Once you’ve answered them to the best of your ability, let the idea sit for a while. Keep talking to friends who are retired and friends who aren’t. Information and intuition are all you have, because there is no easy answer.
Q. What does the future look like if I retire now?
A. It seems that he will make all his own decisions.
“I am a free man. I feel light as a feather.” Javier Perez de Cuellar
The hard part about deciding to retire is that, for most of us, the decision should be ours alone. Your doctor can advise you, your spouse can weigh in, and your friends can encourage you in one way or another. But there is no crystal ball to tell you when the time is right. Who knows how long you’ll live, how fit you’ll be, and how much you’ll miss your job? Nobody, not even you.
The key to a happy retirement is deciding not to look back. It may hurt how quickly you get forgotten at work, but that’s life: keep going. Do not doubt your decision. Maybe you would have more money if you had stayed, and maybe that promotion would have come your way. On the other hand, perhaps your health had deteriorated due to work-related factors and perhaps you had become so tired and bitter that you felt miserable. Once you retire, look ahead: the future is yours and no one else’s.
Q. Will I have enough money?
A. You will probably live with less; get used to it
“The question is not at what age I want to retire, but with what income.” george foreman
Retirement can mean living on your pension, your savings, or Social Security. You can just live on what you earn, or you can supplement it with other income. Only you can decide what is enough to live on. It is one of the big questions to consider before submitting those documents.
Q. Will I get bored?
A. Are you bored now?
“A person can endure almost anything except a succession of ordinary days.” Johan Wolfgang von Goethe
It’s true: people who are busy in their working years will be busy until they retire. The advantage is that it is the hustle that you choose. Every morning you can ask yourself: What do I want to do today? That can be a scary question if you’ve made up your mind for years, so you might want to make a list of things you’ve thought about doing in the past. Work your way through the list, not necessarily in order, just do what you feel like today.
It may be wise to hold off on long-term commitments for a while. When you retire, there will be people looking to “sign” you for all kinds of projects. Take baby steps: Attend one or two meetings of a group they want you to join. Participate in a short-term project for an organization seeking your help. If you enjoy the experience, you can make a stronger commitment in the future, but getting into things you don’t enjoy means you’ll want to get out later, bringing disappointment and frustration everywhere.
Q. What am I going to do all day?
A. The possibilities are endless.
“There is never enough time to do everything you want.” Bill Watterson Calvin & Hobbes
List making becomes more important as we go through life, often because we can’t remember things without writing them down. In retirement, a daily, weekly, or even yearly list can ensure that you’re happy with how you’re spending your time. For example, planning a home project every day (or week) gives a sense of accomplishment. Setting aside time each week to help others is also rewarding. Retirees are the backbone of volunteerism, as they have the time and expertise to apply to needed projects in their communities. Time to play is obviously what many of us retire for. Other activities appeal to various types: there is time for study, meditation, exercise, literature, family, gardening, crafts, making new friends, travel, etc. Balancing these activities makes your life worthwhile, even if you have “retired from active life.”
Q. How will my spouse and I adjust?
R. With some difficulty.
“When a man retires, his wife gets twice as much as her husband, but only half the income.” Chi Chi Rodriguez
All the jokes seem to be about the fact that men find it harder to shift gears in retirement, and that may or may not be true. However, it is a fact that retirement changes many family dynamics that have developed over time. It can take months, even years, for the two of you to get used to these changes. Talk to your spouse about it; There is no other way. Deals may have to be closed. For example, you may have to agree to operate power tools only at certain times of the day so she has time to think. You may have to adjust to having a real lunch, not her usual sandwich on the computer. Fair enough, but it may not occur to one spouse that the other is bothered by constant interruptions or the assumption that because one wants to “run to the store” the other does too.
Q. What will I miss?
R. Probably the people, perhaps the recognition. Not the meetings.
“The problem with retirement is that you never get a day off.” abe lemons
Many of us miss the daily schedule, even as we enjoy the lack of it. You may feel like you don’t know when the day is “done,” or you may feel like you haven’t accomplished anything. (That’s where those lists provide peace of mind.) There may be ways to stay engaged, whether at your old workplace or something similar, so you see people and feel connected. Churches are great for that, as are aid organizations.
Q. What are the advantages?
A. Freedom!
“Our life, exempt from the public den, finds tongues in the trees, books in the streams, sermons in the stones, and good in everything.” William Shakespeare
The biggest advantage of retiring is the opportunity to become the person you want to be: no one has a block on your time and energy. If you’ve ever made a “Things I Want To Do Before I Die” list in your life, this would be the time to dust it off and start making checkmarks. (If you never made the list, now is the time!) You may need to adjust some of your dreams for age or illness, but adjustment is not the same as abandonment, so do it!
Q. What is retirement?
A. Answers will vary.
“I feel nothing but the cursed happiness I’ve feared all my life: the happiness that comes as life goes, the happiness of giving in and dreaming instead of resisting and doing, the sweetness of rotting fruit.” George Bernard Shaw
Retirement is not the same for any two people. Some will go back to work, maybe even full time. Others will retreat into a cocooning state, relishing the world’s inability to bother them. Factors like age, health, marital status, family situation, and income affect what we can do. Our personalities often affect what we will do. The main thing is to consider what you want from retired life and then do it, without paying attention to what others say you should do. In a year, or two, or ten, you may decide you want to do something else. Okay, the rest of your life is yours!
