If you are in the middle of a child custody battle, you may be facing a custody evaluation as part of the court proceeding. Evaluation meetings can be challenging, especially when you don’t know what to do, which can further complicate your case. However, it is very important to understand that the person reviewing your child custody case will have recommendations that are not required by law in any way. But his suggestions and advice carry a lot of weight and could very well convince the judge for or against the custody agreement he hopes to obtain.
Going out of your way to present yourself as favorable is not a bad thing; it is completely natural. But as a parent, you need to know the do’s and don’ts of child custody evaluations.
BACK
1. Show willingness to work with your ex-wife – There are some parents who have lost child custody battles simply because they demonstrated a lack of collaborative effort and cooperation between them. Remember that you don’t have to like your ex, but keep in mind that they are still a part of your child’s life, so you need to show the court your ability to work together.
2. Talk to your child(ren) about what to expect: It is never easy for a child to have feuding parents. They may also hesitate to meet with the evaluator for fear of saying the wrong thing. Make it clear to them that the evaluator’s role is to help you and your ex-spouse learn how to collaborate more effectively, and that there are no “right” or “wrong” answers to the questions you will be asked.
3. Learn about family law. check the child custody laws that are relevant to the state you live in so you know what to expect beforehand.
4. Prepare your documentation – In cases where you truly believe your children’s safety will be at stake with your partner, for example because she has a history of physical abuse, then you should carefully document your interactions with your children, as well as yourself.
5. Be yourself – Don’t worry about putting on a good show. Instead, be honest, and most importantly, be yourself. Please be specific and answer only what was asked.
NOT TO DO
1. Don’t prepare your children to say certain things – This never ends well. If the evaluator suspects that she has taught her children to say specific things, she will suspect that she is hiding something or trying to take advantage of the system.
2. Don’t talk bad about your ex wife – Avoid any opportunity to allow yourself to speak negatively about your ex. The professional has heard it all before, and it only shows that you are not ready to cooperate.
3. Do not go against court orders – Lastly, be very cautious during the evaluation process to make sure you are not going against court rules or violating any orders related to parenting time or visitation.
