What do you think matters most to your children? Do you take them to lessons and practices, or is it the smile and hug you give them after school? If you guessed the latter, you are correct.
Twelve years of teaching and giving the same homework every Mother’s Day has led me to the exact same conclusion. You see, every Mother’s Day I would ask my students for advice on how to be a mother. They had to think about the things that their mother or guardian did for them or with them that made them feel happy or loved. The classroom was silent as the students wrote intensely for longer than they had written before. Smiles often appeared on their faces as they reflected on the happy experiences they were recalling. After reading your responses, I would add all the ideas you mentioned to my list. Surprisingly, many of the answers were the same. Year after year, in every country I taught, and in every type of demographic, students were saying the same things and had the same message: it’s the little things their mothers did that meant and remembered the most.
Today, many moms feel like they are not good mothers unless they are running around, taking their children from lessons to practices and back to lessons again. Some mothers have told me that they want to give their children all the opportunities they did not have. While this thought may provide some comfort to the mother, it does not actually do the same for her child, who is potentially feeling overloaded, stressed, and tired.
After endlessly talking about this topic with my students, it became clear to me that today’s children are involved in too many activities and, in turn, are less and less in touch with themselves and their families. Also, my students told me that they really wished they had more time to “just play.” Of course, many of them enjoy their extracurricular activities, but they don’t need to say that they are allowed to do everything. What they enjoyed the most and what made their hearts glad was when their mothers did simple things for them or with them.
Here’s a list of the top ten things students around the world said they remembered and loved the most about their mothers.
- He comes to my room at night, tucks me in, and sings a song for me. She also tells me stories from when I was little.
- Give me hugs and kisses and sit back and talk to me in private.
- Spend quality time only with me, not with my brothers and sisters.
- Give me nutritious food so that I can grow up healthy.
- At dinner let’s talk about what we could do together on the weekend.
- At night tell me about anything; love, school, family, etc.
- Let me play a lot outside.
- Snuggle up under a blanket and watch our favorite TV show together.
- Discipline me It makes me feel like you care.
- I leave special messages on my desk or in my lunch bag.
Children are incredibly wise and tend to see the world more simply than we do. Perhaps it is time that we start following their advice. Maybe we’d all feel a little less stressed and be content with the fact that doing little things really is … good enough.
