You DO NOT need a man to be happy.
You grew up feeling lonely and without love. Your father was emotionally unavailable, hypercritical, or abusive. You have a low sense of self-worth.
You keep looking for the conditional love of the man, but you gravitate towards men who do not communicate, are unfaithful, deceitful and abusive, men who somehow remind you of your father.
You want a wonderful boyfriend or husband, but you think you are not worthy of a man’s respect, love, and commitment. You constantly need the reassurance of a man. You become romantic and anxious about a relationship with your new man. Your feelings of uncertainty project despair and need. You let a man run over you or you reject a man before he can reject you.
When a quality man shows interest in you, you act out your fearful, insecure, and irrational behavior. You have panic attacks, binge on sweets and fried foods, drink too much, and succumb to promiscuous sex. You walk away from your friends, frenetically worry, and slip into a funky depression.
It is a clear sign that you lack confidence in your worth..
Suitors turn away from you and boyfriends fall in love with you because a relationship with you is neurotic, difficult, and emotionally draining.
Your underlying problem is:
You are afraid that a man will reject you or leave you.
You are afraid of being authentic and vulnerable.
You are afraid to trust a man because he could hurt you.
You are afraid that a man will not love you because you are a middle-aged woman.
You allow men in your life who do not communicate, do not commit, and are abusive.
Girl, you need to realize your worth as a woman!
We can’t choose our dads, but we CAN choose the quality of men that we allow into our lives. We cannot change our painful and dysfunctional past, but we can create a safe and fulfilling future.
Here are 7 signs that you have dependent and dependent behavior and how to change it:
1. You are too accommodating. When you persecute a man, you are saying to yourself: You do NOT believe that you are worthy of his persecution. Due to the enthusiasm and insecurity, you are too nice, you are too available and you have sex with him too soon. You feed his dog when he leaves town. You ditch your girlfriends and cancel your plans to date him at the last minute. When he doesn’t call or text you (like he said he would), you call him to reassure yourself. You are afraid to say “no” to sex because I might stop seeing you.
Solution: STOP shorting! Ignore the tingly, throbbing and sickly love feelings you experience about a new man. Understand that it is a natural part of your “need a man” cravings. Calling him will make you seem anxious. Anxious will make you look needy. If you have to guess whether or not to call … the answer is “DO NOT CALL!” If your instinct tells you to stop having sex with him, woman and tell him that you are NOT ready to have sex. Succumbing to a man’s selfish sexual needs fuels his emotions of need and low self-esteem.
2. You give more than you receive. You call him, text him and email him more than he contacts you. You invent a way to be with him; you invite him to a party and cook dinner for him. You have your favorite beer or liquor on hand. You give her gifts, send her cute cards in the mail, or send flowers to her home or office (yes, women!). You think that being kind and accommodating will make him appreciate and love you, but you don’t get what you hoped for in return.
Solution: A healthy relationship needs a balance of “give and take”. When you give too much, you seem desperate for a relationship. Pay attention to their wants and needs and don’t be afraid to express your wishes or concerns. If you cook dinner, it is his turn to take you to a restaurant. When you call and leave a message or send him a text, wait until he contacts you. If he doesn’t call you right away, don’t assume something is wrong. You could be busy or waiting for a reason (or the right time) to call. But if he doesn’t call at all, you have to accept the fact that he doesn’t like you. Until they are a solid couple, save gifts for their birthday, Valentine’s Day, and Christmas. Ditch the syrupy greeting cards and ask her to pick up a nice bottle of wine before she comes over to your place. If you are really giving more than you are getting, you are with the wrong person.
3. You act out your apprehension. You long for validation and acceptance from a man, but your insecurities make you jealous, anxious, and distrustful. You text him and call him constantly. You stop by his house and stalk him on Facebook. When he doesn’t call or text you right away, you become tense and fearful. You imagine that you did something to push him away, you are suspicious of his activities and you doubt his commitment.
Solution: Time to reprogram your appointment computer. You are the SELECTOR. He is the persecutor. A man’s job is to woo you, woo you, impress you, and convince you that he is the best man for you. Your job is to be charming, responsive, and appreciative of your search. Bombarding a man with text messages and phone calls is the surest way to drive him away. If you believe that you ARE the prize, he will feel your confidence and self-esteem and will work twice as long to earn your favor.
Four. He harasses you to affirm it. You feel like you are not meeting the needs of your relationship. You beg him to talk to you, to reveal his intimate thoughts, to spend more time with you, and to have sex with you. Your behavior is suffocating and suffocating, causing him to turn away from you to protect his personal space.
Solution: Dating in the hope of a serious relationship is an unrewarding process. Absence makes love grow. Force yourself to give him space and create activities for yourself. Practice dating for entertainment and friendship. To go out with your friends. Spend time alone, nurture your 7 chakras, and learn to love your own company. Warning: You may be emotionally stunted and unable to meet your basic emotional needs, in which case it is a lost cause.
5. Dismiss their hurtful behavior. Your love for him is blind, irrational, and self-destructive. You join a man whose dysfunctional behavior mixes with your codependent and needy mentality. You minimize and discard outsiders, who are self-absorbed, unreliable, deceptive, non-communicative, and short-tempered. Subconsciously (or consciously) you operate in denial, tolerating your bad behavior.
Solution: You deserve more. If you continually engage with men who make your heart ache and you are unsure of your future with him, you must enter therapy in order to understand WHY you gravitate toward men who mistreat you.
6. You have no personal limits. You act like a doormat. You let him come in at midnight for a booty call. You put aside the fact that he canceled your Friday night date at the last minute. He texts you for a date at the last minute and you actually walk away. He lies to you and verbally abuses you, and you silently forgive his mistreatment.
Solution: Men do not respect women who exploit. Stop trying to please him and be good to yourself. Raise your standards. Hold him accountable for his bad behavior. Be aware of what you want and need in a relationship and decide not to accept anything less. If he walks away from you, it is because he cannot manipulate or control you.
7. You cling to the man who has lost interest in you. His phone calls and text messages have stopped and he is spending less and less time with you. His conversations with you are superficial and brief and he has less physical contact with you. You try to get him back in; You send him flirty and sexy messages and invite him for a drink. He rejects you and so you chase after his favorite hangout in hopes of meeting him. You think that if he sees you, it will rekindle his interest in you, but you are put off by his cold reception.
Solution: Chasing a man won’t change how he feels about you. If you seem distant or suddenly unavailable, take care of your mental state by getting a little plus unavailable. Allowing a man to have his space without your interference will give him the freedom to recharge his manhood. When he happily and willingly returns to you, you will experience a surge of confidence and self-esteem. If he doesn’t, he’s NOT the right man for you.