Verbal harassment feeds on reactions. The more the receiver reacts, the more the bully enjoys being teased. The bully feeds on the pain of others. Over time, it turns into more physical abuse.
One can “resist” teasing, which sometimes leads to a physical altercation. Or witty remarks can be made that may embarrass the scoffer and lead to a physical beating.
I had the privilege of learning how to handle bullying teasing from anti-bullying expert Izzy Kalman. Izzy told me about a typical scenario where I played the bad guy and started making fun of him. The conversation went something like this:
Me: Hey coward. Why can’t you make the hockey team?
Izzy: Leave me alone! Stop bothering me!
Me: Ah, you can’t cut it. How weak.
Izzy: Watch out! But!
Me: Or else what?
Then Izzy asked me who looked the most ridiculous. Well I admitted he was getting annoyed and agitated and to a bystander the bullied person looked like an immature jerk and the bully was in control.
So, we did it again. Same roles.
Me: Hey coward. Why can’t you make the hockey team?
Izzy: You guys are amazing athletes. I admire that.
Me: Are you trying to be smart? You can’t cut it. Weakling.
Izzy: I never took the time to play hockey like you. Show dedication.
I am good … ???
This time, I I felt like an idiot. Onlookers would see a bully like this as an idiot for no reason to annoy another person. “The trick,” Izzy explained. “It’s staying calm through it all and then having the same kind of responses each time. This can take several months.”
In my own experience, this kind of intelligent response does not usually turn into an argument. But, when you are dealing with a really dumb type of bully, you have to be ready for the shove, for personal items to get hit or a fight. In which case, the above lessons on strength and martial arts should be used. Just let witnesses know who started it.
Note: I punched a couple of guys in my early years. One was for making fun of my cracked teeth and another was a guy who kicked me during a volleyball game. They survived and left me alone. I must admit, he kept the other bullies at bay for a while anyway.
